I love him, I really love him

Woman before the sunrise by Friedrich

I love him, I really love him .

He's my first love, and I probably will never love another as much as I love him.

He's the love of my life; unfortunately we are apart now, living in different cities, a million miles apart, and I miss him so dearly, everyday.

He changed my life, in fact, thats an understatement. He makes my life better just by being a part of it. He showed me how to live, he loved me, he showed me how to love.

He gave his all, he gave me everything. He sacrificed a lot for me, and he was always selfless, always putting me first, always caring, and always there.

He makes me laugh, whenever I am with him, I am happy. He usually tells the same jokes a million times over, but somehow always manages to make me laugh my heart out.

I love to see him happy, and it pains me to see him hurt. He is a great man, he's got a big heart; full of compassion, and generosity. He never holds back, and he loves helping those who need it. He taught me how to be happy, how to never take life too seriously, how to be easy going, how to laugh more, how to never hold back, always be there for others, always give back to the world, and how to have the drive to go after whatever I wanted in life.

This summer, when I had to leave him, I cried. I cried because I knew how much I was going to miss him, and I was right. I miss him, every second of  every day. I fear that I haven't been as good to him as he is to me, that I haven't given him enough, that I haven't showed him how much I love him. But I realized it doesn't matter because he loves me no matter what. He loves me unconditionally, he loves me simply because he does. There is nothing greater than this pure love we share.

Now I am off, finding my own life, chasing my own dreams. And I face whatever comes my way with certainty because of him, because of the strength he gave me, and continues to give me. He is my support when I am weak, and I am a better person because I never want to let him down. I always want to see that shimmer in his eyes, that glow in his face, and hug him and hold him close and feel the warmth of that golden heart he has.

 I don't understand how he does it, how he finds it in him to love so selflessly, to love me so much that he thinks of me a million times of me before he thinks of himself. That he forgives my mistakes, and never holds them against me. He accepts me as I am. And I love him as he is, tremendously and endlessly. He makes the cold days warmer, the sad days joyful, in weak moments he makes me stronger, in moments of hesitation he makes me certain. He's with me in every step I take, every decision, every second I live.

In this painting, I see me, and I see him. I am the girl, and he is my world. He is my mountain, my sunshine, my home. I turn my back and face the world ahead of me knowing that there's a man behind me, always there, a place of comfort, and an open door to go to whenever. I stand tall because he is mine, and forever will be.

For 18 years, 6,570 days, 157680 hours, 3784320 minutes, a trillion heart beats, I have loved him, and with every heart beat my love for him grows. I often forget how lucky I am to have him, but I would never take him for granted. He loves me infinitely and I won't live a day without thinking of him, loving him, and being thankful for him.

 His strength made me a tough woman. and for that I shall be forever grateful.

18 years ago, he held me in his arms, while i wrapped my tiny fingers around his. 18 years ago, he made a decision to love me forever. On that day, in my heart, I also made the same decision. Although I was one day old, and did not understand anything around me, I made the decision to love Yasin forever. Because it doesn't require age, sense, or wisdom to feel a fathers love.

'Woman before the rising sun' whispers, it whispers: I love you, I really love you dad.